This morning we went out to breakfast....
Just the local Denny's
As we arrive we notice a bit of a scene.
Mom and Dad are being screamed at by their son...about 11 or 12..as the scene goes on, it is rather obvious that the son is most likely autistic and in the middle of a meltdown. And not a small child.
Clearly, this is not terribly unusual...as Dad is handling it like a veteran. Kid gets in the car, then out, screams some more then bolts....he actually bolted twice...the last time we saw he went down and paced on the sidewalk by the street barefoot.
Do you ask Dad if he needs any help? Do you ignore it? What is the proper thing to do?
I know you dont do what one lady did....and that is call the cops....there was no reason for that....and being Irvine...you dont get one police officer...you get 3 cars....(DH thought they would earn 4)...there was no abuse, no man handling...clearly they were not kidnapping him....just trying to diffuse a meltdown.
When the cops arrived, they already had corraled the boy back to the car...and into the back seat...
They take dad away from the car, ask mom to step back and then try to talk to the boy, which results in a 2nd door ding to the car next to them....
At that point, we did offer mom a drink, did she need water, ice tea anything?
So they finish talking to the kid and walk away...what do you think the boy does? He got back out of the car....by now he is calmer and can easily be talked back into the car. The officers help them leave a note on the door dinged car (despite the fact the 2nd ding was done by the officer trying to help his partner talk to the boy) and they drove off to continue their journey....or return home.
But what would you have done? Would you have offerred the dad some assistance? Or do you just ignore it?
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6 comments:
If Dad had it under control, I would have left it alone. Shame on that woman for calling the cops! I think in that situation, empathizing is all you can do. If you were to say, "hey' we've all been there," or something along those lines...but if you haven't been there, I wouldn't say anything.
That's just me, though...
T.
Ignore it, whether the parents had it under control or not. Family situations are none of our business, unless someone is being severly beaten- not smacked, not spanked, but actually beaten. I hope that lady who called the cops has something truly terrible (but not permanate) happen to her today and she recognizes what an idiot she is.
I might have stuck around to make sure if the parents needed witness I was there, and I might have said soemthing like "Glad it's not just our family!" to make the parents feel better.
I want to movce to an island!
ok very strange...it alerted me that Elizabeth said something but not T.
I dont know if he for sure had it under control...he has himself under control....he (the child) was hurting anything or anybody....
as for the family sit. and none of our business....thats what kept me waffling...yes family situations are none of my business but I know when Rebekah melts (far and few these days) a stranger saying something often makes her my best friend or at least is enough of a diversion that she forgets her meltdown.
I really seem to be on my own here, but I don't think the attitude of "it's not my family, it's not my business" is simply a way to get out of having to deal with an uncomfortable situation. What if it's not a "family" situation? What if a child was having a seizure? Should we just hope the family has it under control, or would we ask them if they needed help? A seizure may be more recognizable than an autistic child's meltdown, but a meltdown is brought on by the child's medical condition - autism! It's not a behavior issue, nor a family issue. From the description, it didn't sound like the dad had it under control, if a woman called the police. Also, just because there are 2 parents and one child does not necessarily mean they can control the situation - my ex-husband was totally useless and inept at handling the kids meltdowns. In this day & age, I do not believe that a little compassion and concern would be taken wrong. I would rather know that someone cared enough to ask than to just stare or call the police (again, without asking). Where are we as humans if we can't ask a stranger if they could use a little help?
i think i would have left it alone too.
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I promise to update it more often then the old one!
Knowing me...I probably would have asked if they needed anything. At least they would know that my attention to the situation was not a negative one.
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